
Last night Metalhead and I ventured downtown to SoHo to see L.A. Guns at Don Hill's. The flier for the show also mentioned that David Johansen, singer for the New York Dolls aka Buster Poindexter, would be making an appearance. Since we are huge Dolls fans, this was a nice added bonus to an evening that was already shaping up to be a good time. You just can't go wrong with a night of alcohol and hair metal.
We paid the $10 cover and walked in to find the small club barely filled. After checking our coats in the creepy boiler room, we went back upstairs and proceeded to drink our way through the opening acts. One of the frontmen sang almost exactly like Josh Todd, which coming from me is a compliment. Too bad every song of theirs sounded as if it was just the same one being played over and over. Thankfully, liquor makes everyone tolerable so this didn't bother me.
Metalhead was meeting a few girls from the Metal Sludge board. When they arrived, we immediately bonded with them over drinks and a WooWoo shot. They were pretty cool. One was a Japanese groupie with the biggest hair I'd seen in a long time. Really. She could have been the long lost member of Pretty Boy Floyd. We continued our drinking through the next opener that was pretty forgettable.
During one trip to the Ladies Room, Metalhead and I were babbling some kind of drunk nonsense to each other when all of the sudden I hear "When I say I'm in love, you best believe I'm love, L-U-V!" Realizing David was onstage, I spazzed out. Metalhead, however, didn't hear the announcement. So when I went from calmly standing to flailing my arms about like I was on fire, I was given a weird look. She didn't get what was going on until I grabbed her purse and ran out the bathroom door yelling "David's on stage! Let's GO!"
We shoved our way to the front, which really was kind of unnecessary considering there weren't many people in the crowd to begin with. After he sang "Looking For a Kiss" with the Buckcherry ripoff band, we headed outside to try to meet David. However we didn't go up to him, because he was talking to two friends and we didn't want to be rude. Metalhead and I became uncharacteristically shy and waited for them to go away. But they didn't, so no meeting for us.
In between David's performance and L.A. Guns' set, they had all the performers from the bill come up onstage and tape a fake New Year's Eve countdown. They were recording the show for some sort of Japanese program that airs in Northern California. So we all had to act like it was New Year's which was weird. But not as weird as David randomly reading aloud some letter Yoko Ono wrote. That part was a blur, but I know it referenced John Lennon's murder. No idea what this had to do with anything. "Happy New Year's! Now let me bring you all down by reminding you of one of the most tragic events of our time."
After that, L.A. Guns went on. By "L.A. Guns" I mean "Tracii Guns and 3 guys I've never seen before in my life." However, in a drunken state it didn't matter as long as they were playing songs I knew.
Setlist (not in order- and may not even be complete as I was wasted by this point):
-Wheels of Fire (opened with this)
-Rip and Tear
-Ballad of Jayne
-Show No Mercy
-One Way Ticket
-Electric Gypsy
-One More Reason
-Sex Action
-random song I don't know that may or may not have referenced the NYPD
What is silly is that I went to this show for nostalgic reasons and realized- I don't remember half the lyrics anymore. I even blanked out on "Rip and Tear." When the singer looked at me, I just looked away in shame.
During "Sex Action" they invited the groupies in the audience to come up and tantalize/horrify us. Why I didn't get a photo of this display, I don't know. I think maybe I was so stupified at the slutty moves that I forgot I had a camera. Perhaps my favorite bit of choreography was when the blonde in front of me would cup her boobs, offering them up to us, while she stared us down and flicked her tongue like Hannibal Lecter.
They also had the ladies sit on the stage for "Ballad of Jayne." When you look at my photos, please note the random man that I didn't know was there until I looked at my pictures tonight, and the tattoo-faced girl adding to the sentimental vibe of the song by chugging a beer.
After they ended, we hung out for a little bit, then moved on to a favorite bar amongst the rock scene in the East Village. I ran into a groupie chick I had met a few years ago there. She's in her 40s and leaves her kids at home in favor of going to 80s metal shows. A security friend of mine once told me her nickname was "The Town Bike." Why? "Because everyone's had a ride." Nice. But when I mentioned we had already met, she tried to act like she didn't remember me. Whatever. Overall my time at this bar wasn't too eventful- I ran out of money so I had to stop drinking and I inexplicably turned down drinks from Metalhead's new buddy. As a result, I ended up sitting on the couch AIM'ing with a friend on the West Coast.
At bar closing we met some guys who were sitting around waiting to be kicked out like us, and after about 10 minutes of conversation, we left with them to get food. I don't know why, but the three of them pretty much ignored me and Metalhead to the point we wondered why they even invited us out. Once we got to the restaurant it was no different- they just talked amongst themselves. Weird.
After scarfing down wonderfully greasy fries that were extremely skimpy on the fake cheese sauce we paid extra for, I left on the 5:45am train home. By the time I went to bed, Saved By the Bell reruns were already on TBS. After sitting through one scene of the episode where Zach and Kelly are about to get married, I immediately fell asleep.
PHOTOS
CLIP OF "LOOKING FOR A KISS"




























