At the last minute, I went to see Jim Breuer's Comedy Steel show at the Nokia Theatre last night. Due to recent events I felt I needed to laugh, so I went ahead and bought the $30 ticket. If I had shelled out $60, I could have taken part in a Breuer meet n' greet and received a signed DVD as well as early entry (it was General Admission). But again, due to recent events, I decided not to spend the money.
After descending down the neon-lit escalator to the bottom floor of the building, I paid the $3 for coat check and $7 for my vodka/Sprite and went inside to the performance area. Considering I had arrived about 15 minutes before showtime, there was plenty of space in the front, so I walked right up to the barricade with no problem. However, that didn't stop a short guy with a crew-cut (semi-decent looking) from brushing up against me, even though there was a lot of room for movement. I just ignored him and moved up closer to get away from him, but he ended up standing next to me on the barricade anyway.
Right at 8pm Eddie Trunk came out to get the crowd going. He began the show psyching the crowd up by telling us Ozzy was there. But instead, out came Billy Mira with his Ozzy impression. Wearing a wig, sunglasses, black long-sleeved shirt and the same black Adidas workout pants that I have, he ran around the stage singing the classic Ozzy tune "I Don't Know." I think the crowd was pissed at first because they actually believed Ozzy would grace us with his presence. As for me, I was only mildly entertained by this display. In hindsight, I'm sure if I had drank at least two more vodka/Sprites, I would have been into it. After Billy, comedian Don Jamieson performed. He was OK, but nothing spectacular. Not many "LOL" moments from him.
In between comedy acts there were some all-star metal jams involving Frank Bello of Anthrax, Jay Jay French of Twisted Sister, Jack Frost (who I am not familiar with), and Overkill's Blitz and D.D. There was a short time I had a crush on Jay Jay actually. Don't get excited. I said a SHORT time. Anyhow, they played covers from AC/DC and Black Sabbath, so it was total sing-a-long time.
After Don and another jam, was Jim Florentine. I was the most excited for his performance. He's always cracking me up on Stern, so I 've wanted to see his standup for awhile. Unfortunately I missed a few of his jokes because this drunk chick, that was a constant presence all night, was super distracting. Security had her sit in front of the barricade until she mellowed out, but that plan failed. She just kept shouting at Jim to bang her and yelled out the "WAOOHHH!!"s that drunk girls feel they need to express at random moments. The only time Jim acknowledged her was as Security finally moved her back behind the barricade: "Uh oh- someone's getting kicked out already. Oh cool- it's a rock slut!"
Out of all the comedians, Florentine made me laugh the most. I was kind of surprised he showed up though, because about two weeks ago they announced on Stern's show that he found his girlfriend's body in his apartment after she had apparently committed suicide. At the end, he thanked the crowd and mentioned this was his first show back, presumably referring to the tragic event. He also said that he would be at the merch booth to sign stuff, but I didn't go over to meet him. I didn't want to buy something, and since I didn't have anything for him to actually autograph, I'd feel like a dumbass. Plus I didn't want to give up my position up front.
During the downtime, Crewcut struck up conversation with me. He was nice enough, but I don't really take to guys who make me the topic (asking me what I do, where I live, etc.). I'd rather just talk about the surroundings, the show, or pretty much anything but me. It's not that I find it obnoxious when they ask me stuff, it's just that forced conversation is a big red flag to me that the person is boring. Smartass comments about the drunkies behind us would have been a quicker way to my heart.
Finally, after a short comedic film depicting a child's first life-changing exposure to Judas Priest, Jim Breuer came out. He's dressed, as he puts it, either "totally metal" or "totally gay." How the show works is that he tells stories as a backup band plays mood music with a hard rock slant to it. So it's sort of like stand-up with a metal soundtrack. It's a unique concept that I think he pulls off, but only if the stories are really entertaining. Tonight, I felt they were kind of long winded. He doesn't perform that much these days, so maybe it was new material he was trying out or something.
During his set, he was disrupted four times by crowd members crashing the stage. The first time was by two drunk stagedivers. The second was by a lone drunk who ran up and actually tried to make conversation with him. After that incident, Jim stopped the show to try to explain to security how to do their job and told the crowd "Up here? That's where I hang out. You guys hang out down THERE." Even after all this (which Jim handled very well by the way), there was yet a third incident in which the previously mentioned drunk chick ran up onstage past Security on my side. She screamed "WOOAOHHH!!!" in his face and then ran off, eventually getting thrown out of the venue. The fourth crasher was unsuccessful, because the short security guard stagefront center threw him to the ground right as he made his attempt. Finally Security did their job.
How did all this happen? Well for starters, the guard on my side was very involved with his cell phone all night. This isn't the first time I've seen him at a show- he's at almost every local venue I go to. One time I saw him actually take a call while a band was playing and kids were crowdsurfing to the front. Nice to know that the performers can trust him to keep his focus. When his manager came over to bitch him out, he acted like the girl was too wiley for him. But really if he had just been paying attention, he would have had plenty of lead time to grab her by the braids and yank her off the stairs. In all seriousness, we can laugh at Jim's "Security 101" jokes, the idiot guards and lameasses who run up there, but this is how we lost Dimebag. Luckily, these were just harmless goofy drunks, but you never know.
After Breuer was finished, they had a final jam and then the show was over. It ended at 11pm, clocking in at 3 hours. As the crowd broke up, Crewcut hung around and I knew what was coming next. He asked if I'd like to meet up sometime, but I declined. It's true. Girls know right away if they're interested in a guy, and I already knew that I wasn't into him. Especially after he stated that he liked Nickelback.
Overall I'd say that I honestly wasn't that thrilled with the show. The material was pretty bland and at times I found myself (especially during Breuer's set) waiting for it to be over. The jams were probably the highlight for me, because I always get a kick out of seeing the metal legends play. I wish Florentine's set was longer, but I'll probably end up seeing him headline at some point anyhow. Having said all that, I am still glad I went. But with some material editing on Breuer's part and better security, I think it could have been a better show.
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